


The Other Foot

by Flynne



Series: Garviel Shepard [16]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Garv is touch-starved and doesn't know it, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 17:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16858507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flynne/pseuds/Flynne
Summary: Garv’s natural inclination is to be reserved and withdrawn, but Garrus has got him figured out.





	The Other Foot

Shepard was taking too long cleaning his armor. 

Garrus had expected him to have some sort of reaction to encountering Toombs, but wasn’t sure what it would be. Shepard had been stunned to see him, but had recovered surprisingly quickly, and had been able to talk down the disoriented marine until he’d surrendered safely. He’d maintained his calm, professional reserve for the full three days while they’d waited for the Alliance retrieval team to arrive, but those had been some of the longest three days of Garrus’ life. Shepard and Toombs had avoided each other without looking like they were avoiding each other. No one had mentioned Akuze, but the spectre of the massacre hovered over everything like an oppressive black fog. 

The moment Toombs had disappeared into the retrieval team’s shuttle, Shepard had signaled Joker for pickup. He hadn’t said a word on the way back to the Normandy, typing his final report to Admiral Hackett on his omni-tool and sending it out before they’d made it back. And then he’d gone straight to the armory and hadn’t left. 

Garrus waited a moment longer before walking over to stand a few feet away from him, leaning against the workbench to face out toward the empty cargo bay. Shepard didn’t give any indication that he’d noticed him, eyes locked on the heavy Colossus breastplate in his hands. When he finally spoke, it was so quiet that Garrus nearly didn’t hear him. 

“I didn’t know it was Cerberus.” 

Garrus wasn’t sure exactly what Shepard meant, but he’d served with him long enough to be able to tell when he was done talking and when there was more coming. So he said nothing, waiting.

Shepard swallowed hard, setting down his armor and resting his palms flat on the table. “These past weeks. Finding the hidden bases. Following Admiral Kahoku’s leads.”  _ Finding the admiral dead _ , he didn’t say. “I didn’t know Cerberus was responsible for what happened to my unit.” The first traces of anger bled into his voice now. “I was just blindly…” 

Garrus looked at the decking between his feet. He knew where this was going, even if he wasn’t sure Shepard did. “What would it have changed if you’d known? They’re dead. The bases are wiped out.”

Shepard’s hands curled into fists against the worn workbench. “I would’ve  _ known _ .”

“And you would have...killed them harder?”

“I would’ve  _ known _ .” A growl, through clenched teeth. 

Garrus stood beside him in silence for a moment before saying mildly, “It’s a little different. Being on the other side of a vendetta.”

Shepard’s head snapped up, eyes flashing, face taut and pale with anger before the pallor disappeared in a flood of red - but it lasted only a moment before it turned to a flush of shame. He turned away, staring unseeing down at his disassembled armor again.

Garrus was ashamed of himself as well. It had been a petty thing to say, especially since he’d agreed with Shepard about Saleon in the end, even if the doctor ended up dead anyway. “I’m sorry,” he said in a low voice. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you’re...you’re right,” Shepard said softly. He turned to lean against the bench as well, facing the bay along with Garrus, resting the heels of his hands on the bench behind him. “It’s better that I didn’t know. I don’t know if I could’ve been objective about purging the bases if I’d known.” 

“Yes you could have,” Garrus replied. “You got blindsided but you didn’t let Corporal Toombs shoot that scientist, and you didn’t shoot him yourself. Alliance command wouldn’t have questioned you if you’d killed him. But you didn’t. And if I know you - and I think I do, after all this time - it never even crossed your mind. Am I right?” 

Shepard didn’t respond. He was so still he could have been carved from stone, but standing next to him Garrus could feel the waves of tension radiating from his frame, and when he shifted to rub damp eyes with his finger and thumb, his hand was shaking.

Garrus looked down at the floor again. This was the closest he’d seen Shepard come to losing his composure, but even in distress, he was restrained, keeping his emotions bundled tight within himself. From what Garrus had observed of human body language, he was sending every signal that he was closed off and wanted to be left alone...but from what he’d observed of Garv Shepard in their growing friendship over the past months, he knew that wasn’t what he needed. He paused only a moment longer before stepping over just enough to rest his shoulder against Shepard’s, then stood just as silent and motionless as he’d been before.

Shepard was just wearing the cloth uniform the humans favored aboard ship, and Garrus knew his armor would be cold and hard to the touch, but he knew he’d done the right thing; Shepard didn’t react, didn’t look up, didn’t even appear to move; but he shifted his weight without hesitation to lean heavily against Garrus in return.

They stood together in silence for a while. Garrus let his gaze drift and linger on the Mako across the bay, idly wondering if he’d need to adjust the suspension again after the trek over Ontarom’s steep, rocky hills. He’d half-lost himself in mentally sorting through the checklist for how he’d go about it when Shepard took a deep breath and lifted his head. He didn’t step away, but the pressure against Garrus’ shoulder eased. “Thanks,” he said quietly.

“Glad I could help.” Garrus looked down at him. “Are you going to be all right?”

Shepard still looked hollowed-out, but he managed a faint smile. “Going to be.” 

Garrus glanced behind them at the disassembled gear. “If you clean your armor any longer you’ll start taking the paint off. When’s the last time you ate?”

“For once, I can’t remember,” Shepard said wryly. “I should probably do something about that.”

“Go on,” Garrus told him. “I’ll put your gear away.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Go on.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Shepard wiped his hands on a rag and gave Garrus a grateful look, expression as open as Garrus had ever seen it. “I’m glad you came by.”

Garrus nodded and turned back to the bench. “Anytime.”

**Author's Note:**

> During Garv’s playthrough, I didn’t pay attention to the order of side quests as I finished them, and just by chance I ended up doing the Cerberus and Hades’ Dogs missions before I did Lost Scientists. So Garv had…a lot to process afterward.


End file.
